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I helped create Newgrounds. Then I left. Then I came back. Then I left again. It's like that movie "Runaway Bride", but with fewer movie stars and more computer programming.
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Entry #24
Recently I re-watched one of my favorite movies, The Insider. It's about Jeffrey Wigand, a former executive at the Brown & Williamson tobacco company, one of the companies commonly referred to as "Big Tobacco". After being fired, he comes into contact with a producer at 60 Minutes who eventually convinces him to blow the whistle on his former employer's shady dealings in a taped interview. Much legal wrangling and corporate maneuvering follows, CBS won't air the interview, Wigand's life begins to crumble, and just when it looks like Big Tobacco is going to win yet again, redemption arrives. It's a great film and if you haven't seen it, you definitely should.
Much of the movie takes place in the 60 Minutes offices, and I was always struck with how they portrayed everyone working there as so impassioned and driven - it's not that they have jobs, it's that they are their jobs. They make journalism look romantic - the opposite of a 9-5 job where you draw a paycheck and go home.
I'm down with that. I never thought of "work" as simply something you do to get money, which you use to go enjoy the non-work portion of your life. I always wanted to have a job I cared about and took pleasure in - there's the old saying, "if you find a job you love, you'll never work a day in your life." It's kind of a cliche, but I buy into it.
Still, I know not everyone looks at it the way I do. I have lots of friends who take the Office Space approach - find a job you don't entirely hate, earn your salary, and go home. Not everyone has to be passionate about their job, and I respect that.
Lately I've been insanely busy, between doing my NG work, my assignments for my two grad school classes, and maintaining my "side project" MyFootballPool. I truly enjoy all three of these things, but together, the workload is wearing me down, to the point of wanting to run away from it all to an island somewhere with no electricity.
I used to have a 9-5 job that was easy and paid well. The actual work I did was mostly boring, but in retrospect, that was a pretty happy time in my life. I made a lot of friends, I was able to enjoy my life outside of work, and all that made the work itself bearable. Contrast then with now, when I have lots of good work to do, but I'm overwhelmed and feel like I'm just trying to get through one task so I can get to the next one, never having time to relax. I'm not getting to spend enough time with my family & friends, and my workout schedule is suffering.
Wigand has a line in The Insider where he says, in contrast to working for Big Tobacco, "Can you imagine me coming home from some job, feeling good at the end of the day?" Should this be of primary importance when thinking about our jobs? Is it more important to have a job that's fulfilling and makes you feel good, or one that doesn't intrude on the rest of your life?
Maybe I don't need a job that's completely absorbing, as I've always thought. Or maybe I have an addictive personality and need to figure out how to have a job without being consumed by it.
Or maybe I'm just burned out on my schoolwork and need a vacation.

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